• (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
  • Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
  • Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
  • Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
  • Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
  • Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
  • (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
  • Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
  • (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
  • Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
  • Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
  • Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
  • (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

mynameis--jamie--allover asked:

I work at Red Robin Gourmet Burgers... One time, a woman came in and said, "Before the rest of my party gets here, I have a question!" I said, "Ok, what is it?" She responded "One of the women in my group has no teeth, and we were wondering if you could accommodate that. Like, if you could blend the burgers." I was just like "uhhhmmm..." & I went to ask my manager... So I go back & say "Uh, we have soup!" & she's like "No, she's gonna want a burger, just like everyone else." uh ok then.

Uhhhhh…… I hope she’s not asking what I think she’s asking…..

Anonymous asked:

It wasn't an odd request, it was just a stupid one.... I work at the Cheesecake Factory.... there are some plates that are our famous combinations (choose two out of steak, chicken, salmon, and shrimp... it comes with mashed potatoes).... the combinations are smaller portions of some of our most famous plates.... THIS LADY wanted me to get her a combination, but for both of the combined items to be the same one.... I squinted... Why not just get the normal plate? wtf.. idk

It is widely known that guests are just plain stupid and think they’re cheating the system when really they’re not.

Anonymous asked:

I work but at a Five Guys, and people there really like the peanuts. Anyway, when I was working at one in a college town, some drunk kids walk in, and I'm working register, and they ask whether they could have a box of peanuts. When I respond 'no, the peanuts are free, but not that free', they ask if they could buy one, and the answer is still no. So then they ask if they could pay me to steal one, and I gave them the brightest smile I could possibly give while telling them to screw off.

Hahhahahaha! +5 points for you!